INFINITI FX50S

When Toyota decided to start making upmarket cars 20 years ago, it realised, rather brilliantly, that the Toyota badge
wouldn’t cut much mustard and came up with the Lexus brand instead. Well, you may not realise that Nissan did exactly
the same thing for the American market, creating the Infiniti.

There was, however, one big difference between the two philosophies. Toyota decided that a Lexus should be built to
a standard unparalleled in the world and that the cars should drive and feel better than any Mercedes.
Nissan, on the other hand, just wrote Infiniti on the back of a Datsun.
In crayon. Hoping the Americans would be fooled. Which they were.

Since then, though, Infiniti has apparently been catching up and it now says it is ready to come to the cradle
of motoring. Europe.

There will be a selection of models on offer but I began by testing the car that’ll get here first. It’s called the FX50S
and it’s a big five-seater, seven-speed, 5 litre V8, all-wheel-drive monster. I use that word advisedly.
The front, dominated by a radiator full of massive spiky teeth, really does look as if it should be in a cave.
It looks like Jabba the Hutt. And from there on, things get worse.

I don’t deny that it’s quite fast. But it’s only quite fast . . . for an enormous off-roader. Which is the same as being
quite well behaved . . . for a psychopath. In the big scheme of things, it is not fast at all.

Oh, they’ve tried to give it a sporty feel. The chassis is lifted from a Nissan 350Z and the suspension is electronic
and adjustable, but it doesn’t work. Any more than it would work if you entered the Grand National on a cow.
And by trying to make it handle, which it doesn’t, they’ve ruined the ride. It is deeply uncomfortable in sport mode
and nasty in the standard setting.

Worse still is the fact that while this car might work off road — though with those massive sport tyres, I doubt it
— you’d never think of going there because all the mud might mess up your shiny paint.

Then there’s the interior, which is sort of all right. I even quite liked the clock. But it’s no more accommodating
than a Ford Focus, the trunk is tiny and the front seat is not the sort of place you enjoy sitting especially.
Unless it’s raining.

What this car did, most of all, was remind me just how fabulous the Range Rover is. That’s a car that is sporty,
comfortable and handsome whether you’re on the road, off the road or just sitting in the thing, waiting for
your children to finish their music lesson.

The only thing that would possibly convince me to buy one is if Land Rover went out of business.

THE CLARKSOMETER

Clarkson’s Verdict: As pretty and as agile as Jabba the Hutt

Infiniti FX50S

ENGINE 5026cc, V8

POWER 385bhp @ 6500rpm

TORQUE 367 lb ft @ 4400rpm

TRANSMISSION Seven-speed auto

FUEL 21.7mpg (combined)

ACCELERATION 0-62mph: 5.8sec

TOP SPEED 155mph (limited)

PRICE C$110,000 approx