MAZDA CX7



Life is too short, and my time left is too precious for me to ever be bored.

Which is why have traffic jams turn me livid. As I round a corner on the autoroute to be confronted by a lava stream of red
brake lights I don’t just sigh – as a younger person might – and relax, knowing that I’ll get home eventually. I am overcome by
a need to drive to the house of the person who caused the jam, be it the driver who crashed or the traffic womble who shut
the road, or the boss of the construction company with no sense of urgency. And burn it down.

Being stuck in a traffic jam, watching your life ebb away in a relentless stream of inaudible flashes on the digital clock,
is not annoying. It is terrifying.

And this brings me neatly on to the hateful mini-MPVs that sit in the showroom, reminding you that you will
never again ride through Paris in a sports car, with the warm wind in your hair.

I loathe mini-MPVs with a psychopathic passion. I loathe the way they are built, like zip-up slippers, purely for practicality.
That they are so wilfully unstylish, so bereft of everything that makes a car interesting or fun.
And that’s why, in recent months, I’ve been delighted to see they’re being overshadowed by a new range of off-road cars
that can’t really go off road.

I’m talking about the Nissan Murano, the Land Rover Freelander, the Lexus RX and the soon-to-be-launched Ford Kuga.
Yes, when all is said and done, they are mini-MPVs, but the inherent practicality is garnished with a bit of zest, some chunky
tyres and a dollop of four-wheel drive. They are, if you like, Doc Martens zip-up slippers.

The new Mazda CX-7 is a classic case in point. They’ve gone a bit bonkers with the styling cursor at the front where it’s all
swoopy and mad, but, overall, this is an exceptionally good-looking car. And no concessions are made to the terminally beige.

The only engine on offer is a four-pot 2.3, which, thanks to the fitting of what feels a large and muscular turbocharger, develops
a considerable 256bhp. That means 0 to 62 is dealt with in an astonishing 8sec, and the top speed is electronically limited to 130.
This, then, is not a Doc Martens zip-up slipper. It’s a full-on Nike Air shoe.

I especially liked how it felt in fourth gear, at 2700rpm. At this point, the turbo has girded its loins, and you can feel it tensing,
twitching, straining at the leash, eager to catapult you and your dicky hips out of the drudgery of middle age and into the red zone.

Yes, of course, there is a price to pay for all this oomph. And it comes at the pumps, where it will be revealed you’re getting through
the kids’ inheritance at the rate of C$5 every 20 miles or so in town. The good news is that the car itself isn’t very expensive to buy.

The reason for this becomes clear when you step inside. It is like being stuck inside an IT consultant’s left shoe. It’s grey, with a
splash of more grey. And there’s nothing to play with. There is no satellite navigation, no trip computer, no curious buttons that
don’t appear to do anything and that you can study for years, trying to work out why they’re fitted.

What you do get is a volume button on the steering wheel that, when you push it, makes a beeping noise. Why?
As a general rule, I make the radio louder because I want to hear what’s being said, not some stupid beep from the car.
That annoyed me.

I don’t need a beep to tell me the radio is getting louder – I can hear it. I also don’t need a beep to say the door is open,
the key is in the ignition or I haven’t put my seatbelt on. I am aware of all these things. The only beep I want is when I’ve left
the lights on. And this goes for all cars. Should I ever come to power, I will make it law.

But, anyway, back to the CX-7 and some more problems. Because it is a high-riding, chunky-tyred 4x4, it doesn’t ride as
smoothly as a normal car. And it isn’t quite as spacious in the back, or the trunk area, as you might have hoped.
But the fact is this: you can’t have the style and the high driving position without these drawbacks. It is like going out for a lot
of drink and hoping all will be well in the morning. It won’t be. There’s a price to pay for looking good and having fun.

Me? Well, since I believe you should live life and not spend half of it in church, preparing for death, I’d take the Mazda, warts,
beeps and all, every time.

Vital statistics

Model Mazda CX-7

Engine 2261cc, four cylinders

Power 256bhp @ 5500rpm

Torque 280 lb ft @ 3000rpm

Transmission Six-speed manual

Fuel 27.7mpg (combined cycle)
Acceleration 0-62mph: 8.0sec

Top speed 130mph

Rating